Today’s interview is with Leah, a mother of three kids: Esty, whose 8, Shlomo 6, and Racheli/Kelly 2. We talked about her pregnancies and motherhood. She has a really good take on life and has great ideas on how to manage your day-to-day life. She was a really pleasure to interview.
CH: What’s the first thing that comes to your mind that you remember about pregnancy?
LM: When I was Pregnant with my first, Esty, I remember throwing up when I ate eggs. I couldn’t touch eggs after that. I still have a hard time eating them. I also remember not being able to walk into my kitchen; the smell made me so nauseas. When I was pregnant with my Racheli I couldn’t stand the smell of water!
CH: I can really relate to that, I have the same problem with eggs and my kitchen as well! All pregnancies are so different, how was each of yours unique?
LM: For starters, they were different because of the gender of the baby. When I was pregnant with my son Shlomo, it was a lot easier in the early stage of pregnancy than it was with my girls. With my first I was able to sleep and allow myself to be sick but with the other two I just didn’t have time for that, I had to ignore it. I also had very different cravings, with Esty I craved strawberry ices and pita falafel. With Shlomo it was ice cubes and with my youngest Racheli, it was apples.
CH: Is there something you would have done different in your first pregnancy?
LM: Yes; I would have gone out more at night, you’re free you should go and enjoy your freedom. Because, after the baby comes, if you want to, you’ll need to find a babysitter.
CH: What helped you with your nausea?
LM: I ate a little bit frequently, when you’re hungry it makes it much worse and it’s not worth it.
CH: Rate your pregnancy on a scale of 1-10.
LM: With my Esty it was an 8, I was so sick and throwing up all day. Shlomo a 5, only first trimester was bad. With Racheli a 7, it was better than Esty, but not as good as Shlomo.
CH: How about your ratings of your newborns?
LM: Esty was a 10, she was so hard. Shlomo a 3, he was such a good baby he slept through the night from day 1, from 12:00-5:00 just ate and went back to sleep. We had to keep checking if he was breathing. We weren't used to it because Esty cried all night. Racheli a 5, she went to sleep late like 1:00 or 2:00 AM but then she slept through the night.
CH: I hope my baby's like your Shlomo! Transitioning into motherhood can be really hard, how was your experience?
LM: Really, really hard. Esty was very colicky, she cried from 2-5 every night, and all I did was cry with her. She did this till she was 4 months old. And then she became really good and I really started to enjoyed her!
CH: Wow that does sound hard and emotionally exhausting. How was it from one kid to two kids? Was it a lot better?
LM: Yes, it was really good. I learnt from my Esty what I didn’t wanna do: I knew I wanted to be home right away and not stay by someone, because the packing and going back and forth was too much for me. I wanted to be in the comfort of my own home.
CH: And how about from two to three?
LM: Extremely hard, my son Sholom was almost 4 and was l already used to the no baby schedule. Just taking care of all kids and then also having a baby with a baby schedule, was hard. I couldn’t just going out with kids anymore, I now had to bring things and think of baby stuff, like feeding time and changing.
CH: How did you manage the struggle of three kids?
LM: I went with who needs me the most, I learnt that a baby can cry a little and won’t remember you ignored it but a 7 year old will. A baby crying bothers me, not the baby, but it does bother the kids when you ignore them, and tending to the crying baby when they need you. When my husband is around, then everything is much easier. I also learnt how to multitask- we now do homework in the bathroom, while the other is the bath.
CH: That's actually really smart! Is there a challenge you feel that other parents are going through as well?
LM: Yes; giving attention to all your kids, with school and everything else going on, I only have about 3 hours to spend with them. I make sure I spend time with all and remember to enjoy them, they’re not robots.
CH: How do you divide the attention so that they each get alone time?
LM: Racheli is home before Esty and Shlomo, so she gets her time then. Esty comes home a little earlier then Shlomo, and as we go on the way to get him, it’s her time. By the time Shlomo comes home, he’s hungry, so while he eats I give him his time. Bed time is when they get real one on one time, with me and my husband. We put them in one at time and talk about the best and worst part of their day. We do it privately so they don’t feel uncomfortable saying it in front of the others kids. If you show interest in what they’re saying, they really start to talk.
CH: Finish the sentence: Motherhood is_________?
LM: Everything: it is my way of life.
CH: Can you share some of the things your kids say that you find cute or funny?
LM: Well my Kelly is hysterical, everything she says is funny, even her faces, you just look at her and laugh! My Esty, she told me the other day that she remembers me saying how I liked her doll carriage better than the baby’s stroller. I had bought her a stroller when my 3rd was born so she shouldn’t use the baby’s. I find it really funny when my 2 big kids talk about me, I feel old. When they talk they can seem like adults.
CH: Is there a conversation that you have in mind that makes them seems like adults?
LM: Yes, when my grandmother pasted away my son said I'm so sad, so my daughter asked him why. He answered because we can never see her again. So my daughter says don’t worry will see her when Moshiach comes! He then asked me if she was going to be buried in Israel, I said no I didn’t think so, so he replies, “Oy, it’s much better to be!” I guess his teacher taught him that. I thought it was funny how mature it was.
CH: Does it make you proud when they act mature?
LM: Yes; but it’s not even when I expect them to be. Like, in grocery store, and I warned them to behave. But when we’re at home, they are so respectful, mature and polite. It’s not only when other see, it’s the times when you don’t expect it that makes me proud.
CH: Do have someone who you go to for advice?
LM: Not someone specific, but my mother, all of my sisters- they are my life and a friend.
CH: Was this during pregnancy or motherhood?
LM: Both.
CH: What advice did they give?
LM: My friend always tells me, “It’s ok/good to take time for yourself, without the kids. A vacation, or even a night is important.”
CH: Do you have philosophy/motto of life that you go by?
LM: Yes; I was at a parenting seminar and we were talking about how there are going to be hard days, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad mother. They said "You need to be a good parent 80% of the time, the 20% won’t destroy your kid. Keep trying to be 80% and if you mess up, tomorrow is another day." So I follow the 80/20 rule.
CH: How did you juggle work and being a mom?
LM: When Esty was born I stopped working, but then got a part time job in a play group, and I was able to take her with me, and I did online course in my spare time. So by the time my second was born I opened up my own studio, and worked around my kid’s schedule.
CH: From your point of view, how is my blog helping others?
LM: When you read it, you see you are not alone. We all go through this, and it can be really hard to go through it alone.
Thank you, Leah!
I hope you enjoyed reading this interview as much as I did giving it!
Here's what to look for in up coming posts!
First doctors appointment!
Babies heart beat
My no show baby bump!
Memory loss?
Interviews!
Product reviews!
The advantage of exercise!
and much much more!
Happy Motherhood!!